So here I was sitting down to write a pathetic, slightly whiny letter about how it was Rachel’s 20th birthday on Wednesday and we had to celebrate it from different cities—she’s in beautiful downtown Etobicoke, Mitchell’s in Vancouver, and I’m stuck in
perpetual wintry hell Ottawa.
It was going to be one of those rip-your-heart-open letters, and you would have been in tears on my behalf by the end.
Fortunately for you, I decided to visit a few friends’ blogs first. And over on Alphabet Salad, I discovered a post titled True Confessions: 10 Things I’ve Never Done.
Like Laurel, who wrote that post, I’ve never had a tattoo, or watched Forrest Gump. So I won’t cheat and start with those; I must create my own list.
Basically, I’m looking for standard run-of-the-mill things that make most people stare at you gape-mouthed and say, “What? Seriously? You’ve never done xxx? Wow…” before they wander off to find someone more interesting to talk to.
So here’s my list:
- I’ve never travelled south during the winter. Or any other time, for that matter. Given the amount of complaining I do about our climate, that seems hard to fathom, but there you are.
- I’ve never seen the movie Edward Scissorhands. Ditto Pirates of the Caribbean, I or 2. I know, shocking.
- I’ve never dropped acid. I figure my life has been plenty psychedelic enough without any outside help.
- I’ve never killed anyone. Injured, yes. But not killed.
- I’ve never gone bungee jumping. I only mention this because I know a number of people who have, and they are convinced I should give it a go. That will not be happening.
- I’ve never gone downhill skiing. The thought of standing at the top of a mountain and considering sliding down it on two slippery boards makes me quite unhappy. I’ve gone cross-country skiing though. And snowshoeing. I am Canadian, after all.
- I’ve never eaten frog’s legs. I tried once, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Same with crickets. Even though I hear they’re a delicious crunchy snack with loads of protein. Nope.
- I’ve never watched Dallas. Not now, not then. I saw the first 10 minutes of the first episode, wondered who these unpleasant people were, and why the funny guy from I Dream of Jeannie had morphed into a sleazoid reptile, and then I turned the channel.
- I’ve never managed to make it to the end of any song by Rush without gritting my teeth and covering my ears. I’m sorry. I know they’re fine upstanding people and a credit to Canada and all that, but I hate their music.
- I’ve never set foot on a Disney property. And I don’t intend to start now.
Whew! That was harder than I thought.
What about you? I bet (in fact I know!) your list would be completely different. But I’d love to know what you’d add.
And stop judging me about Dallas, okay? Sheesh.